Episode 37

Real Life’s Adventures in Living: An Attitude of Gratitude: How AA Expanded My Soul Knowledge! With Guest Ellen Elizabeth | EP 037

Dr. Judith’s special guest is Ellen Elizabeth in this Real Life Adventures in Living segment, which is on “An Attitude of Gratitude: How AA Expanded My Soul Knowledge.”  Ellen Elizabeth shares about having a loving upbringing, her belief about addiction, the influence of the ego, the importance of service, and having a caring network of people around her to support her sobriety and the wealth of knowledge she has learned about herself through AA and her recovery programs. She also shares she has a book coming out at the end of May 2023.

 

About the Guest:

I am an author & coach representing people who are dealing with the struggle and the shame that comes from feelings of inadequacy. I strive to inspire people to define who they want to be and to help them transform their demons into dreams through radical honesty.  I live with my twins and my husband in Colorado and can be found at @itsellenelizabeth on Instagram & Facebook, as well as my website https://www.itsellenelizabeth.com/ Check it out to order your copy of my memoir, Split Ends!

About the Host:

Dr. Judith Holder’s passion is empowering people to be their best selves! Dr. Holder is the founder and executive director of Unique Pathways™ (www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com). She is a leadership coach-psychologist, facilitator, consultant, and author.

Our paths are filled with many adventures in which Judith believes can be seen as growth opportunities, even during challenging times. She likes to think about, discover, and discuss personal and professional life’s circumstances as you journey through life, through the lens of Christian values, Buddhist precepts, Ascended Master teachings and Esoteric Principles to gain greater clarity and mastery in daily living. 

Dr. Holder is the author of Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam – Essential Insights for Growth and Self-Mastery, and an e-book, Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth

On a personal note, Dr. Holder sees herself as a perpetual student/seeker learning from her everyday adventures, which she considers as a part her ongoing growth and evolution of her SOUL. The fun part is we are all walking similar journeys together!

Judith enjoys spending time with family, vacationing at beaches and mountains sides, reading, walking, partaking in mindfulness practices, and is a certified yoga instructor.

 

Dr. Holder’s books on Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam and Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth can be found at -

https://www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com/services/spiritual-inquisitiveness/

 

Mastering Life’s Adventures “How to” Downloadable Courses at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab “Offerings”

  • Course 1: Mastering Life’s Adventures mini-course
  • Course 2: Opening Up to Your Divinity mini-course

 

Learn more about “Mental Fitness for Busy People”, at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab, “Offerings”

 

You can also check out Dr. Holder’s at

LinkedIn page: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judith-c-holder-phd-ms-pcc-bcc-a1a4a57/

Executive and Leadership Coaching website: www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com

Speaking Engagements (for Women New to Leading): www.drjudithholder.com

 

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Transcript
Dr. Judith Holder:

Welcome to Mastering life's adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about, and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I am Dr. Judith holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life's adventures. All comparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know and to who you really are Mastering Life's adventures begins now.

Dr. Judith Holder:

Hi, I'm back. I'm here with a special guest, Ellen Elizabeth. And she will be talking in this episode of Real Life Adventures and living an attitude of gratitude how AAA expanded my sole knowledge and she'll be talking about addiction that she's experienced and was people are listening to this podcast may have experienced as well, and how her life has evolved and grown in terms of her soul awareness. Welcome again, LM Lizabeth and want to share a little bit about yourself.

Ellen Elizabeth:

Sounds great. Thanks so much for having me today. I'm really excited to chat with you. And I hope your listeners get something out of our conversation. So I am Elena Elizabeth. And some of the things we will be talking about today is my journey through my struggles with addiction that I've had for several years. And now I am currently a sober twin mom. So my, my goal in life now is to share my story with anyone and everyone who wants to hear it in the hopes that it resonates with someone or possibly even help someone get the help, they need to save their life. So I do my best to coach others with any of their issues that they're having. And I also just as vulnerable and raw as I possibly can be hoping that my honesty resonates with people. Essentially, my, my journey that got me into this state of gratitude is very dark, it's not something that people would think of as a journey that would, that someone would be grateful for. But I think of it as a journey of gratitude, because it brought me to who I am today and is enabling me to be the best person I want to be. So I essentially had a very happy childhood, and no trauma, nothing out of the ordinary, very supportive family very loved. And when I turned 17, I met my first boyfriend. And the codependency basically started immediately I changed who I was for him, and changed my likes, my dislikes, my looks, my attitude, in the hopes that he would stay in love with me. And turns out he was a drug addict. So he introduced me to drugs. And in my brain, I thought, well, I want him to stay with me. So I'm going to do what he wants. And I also learned that I believe I was born an addict, he was simply the catalyst that got me into the behavior. And it just kind of took off from there. Yeah, one of the things you said was, I want Elizabeth that you are going in at night. So I'd like to hear a little bit more about that. Because I think we can have a great childhood, like you're saying, but there's something that exists to that kind of moves us leads us toward maybe addiction. And I have some thoughts about that now,

Dr. Judith Holder:

and I'll share that in a minute. But the other thing is, is that, you know, we can have kind of an innocence about us too. And when we meet someone who has strong, you know, desires of the strong addictions or what it may be, we tend to kind of move in that direction. Because of, we want a person to love us and that's very core, you know, it's similar to what the soul wants to the soul wants to be loved as well and appreciated and valued and seen in many regards. And sometimes, you know, we don't see ourselves for a very, very long time or sometimes not at all right?

Ellen Elizabeth:

So yeah, looking back, you know, as you're in addiction, like, you're never the problem. It's everyone else's fault. You're not doing anything wrong. I would look at myself and think This, you know, it'll be okay. It's just a phase, you know, things like that. But now that I'm sober and looking back at things, I see that, you know, there was nothing in my childhood or early teens that that could have like made that switch go off that made me an addict. I believe that it's truly just in my DNA. And, you know, it is a disease that you can just be born with. But there was nothing that that could have just made me go searching for drugs or alcohol or made me want to numb things, you know, I had a very good life when I met him. And so it was, it was simply like, the first time I put it in my body was, was the click, that I needed to kind of take off. But just thinking back through, through my younger years, you know, I never did anything, like, so I always did everything to excess, even the first couple times I drank, even though I didn't drink a lot, like the point was to see how far I could take it. And from that point on, I never drink just to like, be social or have one class, it was always all night long to see how long I could continue drinking. And same with drugs, it was never like, I'll just do this today and wait several months before doing it again, it was every day. So that's why I think it was, it was me when I was born, there were no circumstances that that could have caused me to go searching for it or seeking it, it was just I needed it that first time. And that's just kind of what started at all. There was always within me, if that

Dr. Judith Holder:

sounds like there was a component of you that are a part of you, that was always testing the limits. And in that process of testing limits, that could be with anything. And so it just happened to have you have a boyfriend who was in his way testing his limits already moving forward. And what in his addiction had to be in a kind of pulls you into the stream. You know, that's that. So tell me more.

Ellen Elizabeth:

So we were together from the sea, I was 17 till 21. So most of my pretty much all my college career, as I say was not normal, because I wasn't doing anything with my college friends. I didn't go to college parties, I didn't do anything, all I wanted to do was go hang out with him and do our drugs together. I ended up moving around a few times to follow him and just completely isolated myself from everybody. It was it was very volatile. It was obviously not a great relationship. But I stayed in it for the drugs, I didn't really know how to get drugs where I would go what I would do if he wasn't the one there helping me. And so that was a very upsetting, hard time, especially when you're that age anyway, it's already a mate or you're learning a lot about yourself. And I was just kind of numbing everything. So I wasn't learning anything. But I did finally get out of the relationship. And I was able to quit those drugs without any issues, but I just immediately started drinking every day. So that continued until I was about 33. So I was out 14 years of active addiction. And the drinking you know, I thought was normal society makes it seem like it's normal to drink all the time. And if you don't, you're like a loser. I however, didn't realize not everyone drinks all night every night. You know, some people can have a beer every night. And then that's it. But to me, I thought just having something every night and then continuing all night was normal. I was trying to make up for my last what I thought was last time in college like not having college friends and not doing college parties. So that's how I kind of rationalized everything in my brain. And it wasn't till probably like 26 Maybe I started realizing I needed way more alcohol than anyone else I was hanging out with and I started hiding booze, I started bringing, you know, shooters in my purse and water bottles filled with it. So I could have the amount I needed just to feel the effects that I wanted without people seeing how much I was really drinking. Then at that point is when I kind of figured it wasn't as normal anymore, but I didn't know how to stop at that point.

Dr. Judith Holder:

Is if you there's kind of weakening coming up on that something's not quite right. Right. Then Then you said something as important which I think does happen with addiction or an alcohol is is that there's numbing process that takes place and And in the numbing, you know, how do you think that impacted you in terms of Were you aware of it happening? You know, because you're saying, looking back on it, you're saying that, but as you're going through it, were you aware that there was kind of these layers been putting upon you, in terms of keeping you more distant from your true self? Yeah, so

Ellen Elizabeth:

I definitely have very strong memories of, I would hide things in the closet. So I'd go to the closet and drink out of the closet. And then I'd go Swish my mouth with Listerine. And as I was looking in the mirror, I would say to myself, in my head, you know, you're an alcoholic, and you're either gonna die this way, or you're gonna have to quit. And as soon as the word quit came in my brain, I just shoved it down and said, Nope, that's not happening. Guess you're gonna die this way. Like, just the idea that I would have to quit was just unfathomable. And, and so that feeling just numbed. More. So it's like, I knew it was happening, but I didn't want to. So I just kept drinking more to, to not feel it. And so it was just the cycle every day. And that's what's so baffling about the whole disease.

Dr. Judith Holder:

Yeah, it is as if there's a part of you knows what's right to do. And there's a part of you say, Ah, we're not doing it. Right. And so, it really hits is aspect of what I talk about sometimes in the podcast about the eagle persona, and the soul. Yeah, and the ego is like, I'm going to do what I want to do, I'm going to do it when I want to do it, and you can't stop me, you know, type of rebellion in some ways, but we're thinking it from our level of No, I should have the autonomy and the freedom, but we're not, we're not being aware of the fact that it does has its ramifications on the soul, and the dampening of the soul. Because the numbing the very thing that the soul does. And when you start on numbing ourselves, it starts to awaken more and give some more enriched and feeling in life, did you find that happening for you, when you kind of move past that 33 And you realize that I want something different.

Ellen Elizabeth:

So yeah, I definitely knew I knew I wanted something different. I knew I needed it, I knew, like, I was gonna kill someone driving or kill myself or, you know, something terrible was gonna happen. And they say in a, the good thing about getting sober as you feel your feelings. And the bad thing about getting sober as you feel your feelings, because that's like what we've been trying to avoid this whole time when we're drinking and reusing. And so now that I, it's, there's like the clarity there to feel everything. But that doesn't mean I enjoy it. I don't necessarily love feeling all these things. And that's what the whole point of the AAA program the steps and everything is. And I do also, I don't only do a I also do several other recovery programs, there's tons out there that aren't necessarily a related. But, you know, AAA has been one of the ones that really works for me, and it's just me, we start learning these things about ourselves that we'd never known before. And before getting sober, I never ever thought about like, the soul, like how my soul is interacting with everything in the universe, and how all of it is combined. And I have this whole new spiritual growth and process that I'm in into with now. And it's kind of like I had, I would never have gotten here, if I hadn't gone through that. So it's just like the evolution that I needed to have to get to this point.

Dr. Judith Holder:

You know, it is as if, when you the very thing that we want you to feel versus feelings we don't want to feel from but we, if we want to get more connected to our soil, we need to feel because that's the avenue or one of the voices of the soul is to our feelings, and helping us to sense things. And our intuition, in being able to realize is a sixth sense of something else is going on here in my world. And there's something greater than I want, I just don't know how to get there. And so if our feelings are damped down, then we can't quite get there. But so what we do is we feel empty. So we try to fill that void with something you know, it can be it doesn't have to JP, the addiction of alcohol or drugs, it can be food, it can be sex, it can be other things that we're filling that void with, you know, in order to try to make us feel home. And we're missing the element that is our soul. That's really urging us to be able to to take notice of it so that it can be able to support in some ways us and help us to feel a greater sense of happiness or fulfillment.

Ellen Elizabeth:

Yes, exactly. And it's, it's just so I mean, it happens to everyone in their own time, you know, no one dreams of being an alcoholic when they're a little kid like they're not like oh, I hope I'm going to AAA when I'm 35 but, but it's like we all get to where we are, you know, as we need to, if, if someone had said, well, people did say, you need to quit drinking, you know, throughout my 20s and early 30s. And I was like, Eff you guys, like I'm doing what I need to do. And I'm having fun. And this is who I am. And it's just once I was the one who made that decision is what it actually worked.

Dr. Judith Holder:

Yeah. And so what? So what are the things that sometimes have these addictive types of qualities do for us, it makes us believe that's who we are. And we keep on believing that's who we are. But guess what? It isn't who we are. It's not who we really are. And so but it tries to, because what it does, and that ego persona state a world I'm living in the world, you know, around us this is that we think these illusions out here, it's going to give us something, and we have to move to a point of through time, and we realized, I've got to live with it. And that's what I'm hearing you did, be it through the help of AAA, or through other mechanisms of self awareness. I've got to be okay with who I am first. And sometimes it's hard to be able to do, but something happened for you. That said, I'm gonna do it.

Ellen Elizabeth:

Are you okay with who I am? Right? Yeah, and it's been six years in sobriety, it's still daily, I still work on it daily, it's not, you know, puppies and rainbows and bright lights flashing from the sky, what's its daily work. But at least I can figure out more of myself now without the the numbing and the self loathing and guilt and shame and all of that type of thing. So it's really powerful just to see from where I was 20 years ago, to who I am today is a vast difference.

Dr. Judith Holder:

And I think you said something that was around on the lock. He said daily process. And I think that's what life is in. But that daily process, even though it may be sometimes struggling a little bit, and sometimes you really have to curve, our our desire, you know, that we do have for that substance, or for that, fill in the blank, whatever it may be. But ultimately, by the mere fact that we are making a choice and conscious and being intentional about it, which is something soul wants us to do the mind, the soul actually tries to help us to be able to say, when we say we're not doing that. So you have these words of encouragement, or you have, you know, certain things that you're reading through a or through your own reflections or spiritual guidance, or whatever it may be things continue to anchor you. So there's certain things that you've been doing that has been anchoring you and I have one of those is to a and some of the other programs that are out there. What are other things you've done to kind of anchor you? Yeah,

Ellen Elizabeth:

so I have a very strong recovery program is what I call it. And it did start while I went to rehab to get through the first three weeks of being sober. And that's where I kind of learned like, how to live on the outside world, as we called it. And it's definitely a very, you know, do meetings as often as you can meet other like minded people, aka sober people, like surround yourself with people you want to be with. And just like, I've, like I've said, I've become closer spiritually, than I have in the past. So I do meditations and yoga, different spiritual retreats, and even just going on a walk with my dog like in the silence, taking that time to, you know, center my thoughts and things like that, know who I need to talk to, if I'm struggling always have someone available on my phone. Even just helping other like that's one of the reasons I love what I'm doing right now is because helping others gets you out of your sense of self. So if I'm having a terrible day, I can reach out to someone else and say, What can I do for you? How can I help you instead of obsessing over how crappy of a day I'm having it'll help me make someone else's day better. It's like an act of service. Then having support around me not everyone is lucky in the fact that they have a family that supports them 100% and wants to see them thrive. My my husband's been super supportive through everything, he knows that sometimes I need to go on a walk and get some space and you know, things like that. And he's been great with eliminating alcohol from the house and you know, supporting me through my sober journey and then my mom has never drank in front of me again since I've been sober. So it's just having little things like that help but not everyone gets that and that's, you know, there's a whole program called Al Anon for family members. So there's there's things everyone around you can do. If they want to

Dr. Judith Holder:

Yeah, right. And also you, you have your kids. Yep. So you know, as well, your twins are kind of to keep you moving forward as well, which is, you know, all you have a circle a network of individuals that are there who love you and appreciate you and want the best for you, which is nice. And, you know, when you were talking about service, giving to others is such a quality of what the soul wants to do. And I usually say that our soul and our evolution and progress, we want to be to be selfless. We also want to be able to be have surrender, you know, surrender those things, and on to a higher good, and we realize that's not to our higher good, and it just not with addiction, as with anything that we're doing that may not serve us very well. And then there's sacrifice, there's willingness to kind of say, Okay, I know I'm letting go this more purpose, for a higher purpose, and for greater meaning. And I'm willing to do it. So those qualities, or on qualities of the soul of selflessness, surrender, sacrifice and service. So it sounds like you're hitting those points in some ways. Yeah,

Ellen Elizabeth:

I know, it's interesting, because I people that I know that are also sober. And in AAA, we always joke that like the entire world should work, a program of recovery, because like, even if they're not an addicted or anything, like just learn how to live, this way that we're living, like everyone would be so much better off, because we learn how to like, look at ourselves and our part and everything. And then how we can adjust going forward and to help others and you know, all of these different things. Not everyone who is in a does an awesome job, I may not be doing an awesome job, it depends on the day, but you know, just having these things in our back pocket is helpful and create self awareness.

Dr. Judith Holder:

You know, those things that are in our back pocket that you've been putting in your back pocket to be able to pull out when you need is, is really important to everyone living in life is walking a spiritual path. There's just ups and downs that you have in walking, and you may be climbing at a high mountain. And so it's like, do I have my water? You know, do I have good sneakers? Do I comfortable clothes? Do I have a change of clothes in case I need it? You know, so those are the things that you know, in some ways, figuratively speaking, it's in your back pocket you're pulling out, and you're having us resources for yourself. And I love the idea, I think, you know, the world would be so much better if it wasn't a process of recovery from so all this stuff has been going on, and then move into those qualities of looking and serving others. But first, as she was saying, having an understanding of self. And that's what this has been doing for you. And your process of recovery is a better understanding of who I am, and how I want to show up.

Ellen Elizabeth:

Exactly. We're getting there every day, I

Dr. Judith Holder:

think I think what my statement is, every day is a better day. Allowing you to get better and better and better. And you know what, we will fall down, we will not always do it, right. But that's the beauty of living in life is that we have New Day and New Day of opportunity to try it again. And just do a little bit better each and every, every day. So when one of the things that you were talking about, you know, in our earlier time together, was how you have an attitude of gratitude. Experiences and tell me more, there's different things that have allowed you to do that. And is that something you do every day? Or is it kind of periodically in transit attitude of gratitude? Yeah,

Ellen Elizabeth:

I tried to do like a gratitude list in the mornings, even if it's just like, I'm grateful. My sheets are soft, right now, you know, it doesn't have to be like some huge, deep thing, because then it just helps you realize what you do already have. And it's so easy to get caught up in the woe is me and the sad down depressed state. So just starting the day, that way, helps, but I have to, it's so easy to get caught up in the, I never should have done that, you know, do this, that's gonna affect this. And it's like regretting the past and freaking out about the future are all just like, things that could easily cause me to go back to drinking or using but also just aren't healthy. Because you can't change past you can't figure out the future. So I just have to, when I start thinking that way I tell myself, you know what? You pick this life for yourself, you pick this path for yourself, you had to go through that to get to your higher self. And that's what you're continuing to work on. So be grateful you went through it and figure out what you're learning from all of it. And so it I am at this point grateful that I went through that because here I am today hoping to help others and be able to coach others and do what I need to get them through their dark places. So if I didn't have that experience, I wouldn't be doing what I do and wouldn't be who I am today. So I have to be grateful that I went through that, as painful as it was, or as hard it is, as it is to think of it that way. It's the first time I heard someone say, I'm a grateful alcoholic, I was like, that doesn't make any sense whatsoever. And now, you know, it makes sense to me, because I'm grateful I went through all those things to be who I am today.

Dr. Judith Holder:

Yeah, sometimes the experiences that we go through, we don't realize the purpose, the the grand grand plan, and what's happening for us, sometimes we're going through the experiences because we are going to be helping others. We because we know what it's like to be in the valley. We know what it's like to kind of climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and try to do your best and you still don't get to the top at the speed that you want to get to that top, that mountain itself. So those experiences are painful, yes. But that's where the the fork in the road comes in. It's like we're there where the pain is, is we have a choice, the choices to go down the overall, or the choices that take the high road, right? And that's where the soul wants you to always is cheering you to say, go right? go the right way, go the higher way up the mountain and your life because you know what? God forgives? And it's humans that don't forgive ourselves. And so God says, Are we doing better? You know, are we moving in a better way? Are we you know, trying to achieve a better direction or whatever, or we keep on moving forward is with the soul, your I Am Presence, your Creator, God, the universe is always wanting us to be able to do and not get caught in the valley of despair. Because that's not what God wants us, for us. And we have free choice on this planet. And so we can choose which direction we want to move in. But he is always he or she is always rooting for us to take the right path, the right hand path. Right? Yeah. And it's just up to us to do it. Yeah, and find ways like you were saying, find ways that we can do it and, and have that reliance on supporting the network or community of like minded people to guide us because it can be challenging, I'm not going to say it isn't. But the more that we Score one for our Creator, the more the soul says hippy hooray.

Ellen Elizabeth:

You're doing it.

Dr. Judith Holder:

Exactly, exactly. And so it moves you into seeing the dark places more as they were opportunities of growth. opportunities of growth. And sometimes it's hard to be to say, I'm not sure about that experience over here, or that experience, maybe these others. But that's the ego wanting to say, Oh, get you back down despair, and discouragement. It's like, every opportunity, I'm now looking and seeing as reviewers that silver lining and taking the silver lining on putting aside the rest for in my interactions and in my my life. And that's sometimes a lesson that we all have to learn how to do. Now, not just because you experienced addiction, but you know, because of living life and some of the challenges and some of the decisions and some of the things have happened to us in our life. We have to say, Okay, we're at that single lining.

Ellen Elizabeth:

Exactly. It's amazing how much ego comes up in recovery. It's a huge thing that we talk about. I've even done like a day long spiritual retreat based around ego. It's just fascinating to me, and it just creeps back in. without you even really thinking about it. It's always there. But it's so interesting, because I never thought about any of that stuff before. You know. It was just like, I wasn't, I wasn't in the place where I was ready to hear any of it is the difference. Now I'm excited to learn about those things. And even though half the time I'm like, oh, something's going on here, but then I can at least learn from it. Yeah,

Dr. Judith Holder:

yeah. And what we're literally trying to do is take the ego which has been people on PV if you've probably heard this, this energy going out, that is always going out to comparing our to be able to say, well, this person is doing a little bit better and I got to do it that way that or, you know, this is happening over here. Why am I doing that? So that when they're getting into this area of comparing ourselves, we realize his ego. It's really in the space of the soul expression that we realized it really cares about how you are be how you're showing up, and how you're growing from your experiences. And how you in listening, Grace, you know, listening for nice, like you were saying earlier in terms of appreciation, and having an attitude or appreciation, the soul loves gratitude. It loves you be able to say, thank you for your presence with me today. Thank you for an opportunity to hear you're listening to you that today. And so we're really learning a different language in some ways. Right?

Ellen Elizabeth:

Exactly. Yeah, it's like everything is, it's like starting as a baby again. And I still, I still say, like, a toddler in recovery. Pretty much. If that, you know, it's been six years, but there's been so many things throughout the six years that it's like, Nope, still still pretty new. pretty fresh to this. And even? Well, they call them old timers. But I think they're changing it to long timers, because they're not necessarily old. But like, you know, decades of years of sobriety, they always say, you know, the person, that means the most in this room, to me is the one just walking in the door, because they have the most to teach. And it's just yeah, the whole concept is just I've learned so much through all of it, never thinking this is where I would, where I would learn and find all of these things. So

Dr. Judith Holder:

one of the things I'm hearing and the learning and with a long, long termers are the are the newbies is you're learning a sense of being fully present. Exactly, you know, being just fully present with what is going on, and learning and growing and advancing. That's exactly what this whole necessity is fully present. Right? And the good, the bad and the ugly. That's so great. Yeah. And that's the beauty of it all. Because I think every line has an opportunity. And I think you've said this tune some of the things you sent my way, you know that every life is an opportunity for growth for advancement, everything that you've done has grown in some particular way, as well. And that's lovely. So is there any type of phrase or comment that you want to have for the seekers about your life and your experiences as we've been talking about them? Yeah, well, there's,

Ellen Elizabeth:

I always had come up with different things off the top of my head. But the phrase that I've been focusing on this week is that God or the universe or your higher power, never gives you anything you can't handle. And so even though it may feel like the world is falling down around you, and there's no brightness in the air, this is where you're supposed to be in this what you're supposed to be going through, it's that's just what I've been thinking about this week, if you asked me next week, it probably be something else. But yeah. I also just love to remind everyone that whatever you're going through, you're not alone, there's someone else who's been through something similar, it may not be the exact same circumstance, but there's someone out there who knows what it feels like,

Dr. Judith Holder:

I love to hit that last point. And maybe just talk a little bit about that before we end our time together. But this issue around being alone, and how it shows up in our world, and how we have to come to that awareness. But before we get to that awareness, you know, what was it like for you? Was that that greater sense that there was a sense of loneliness?

Ellen Elizabeth:

Are? Or how would you describe it? I think that you hit it on the head, there is a sense, and it's just, there's also the feeling of alone. It's like, is that just lonely? Or is it a lot like because I'm with people, but I feel alone. So it's just sitting with it and figuring out what it means to you. You know, because for me, there's lots of different ways you can feel alone, but when it came to my addiction, it was like, I thought I was the only one in the world drinking vodka out of the closet at 6am. And then I guess over and I'm like, Oh, I fit right in. That's totally fine, like, not fine. But lots of people go through these things. So once you start like opening up and realizing feeling, figuring out this certain feeling you're having and you can talk through it with someone and they've probably been in the same place. Yeah,

Dr. Judith Holder:

yeah. And it's interesting because you said, you know, the feeling part of it. And for everything that we know ourselves around. Once we start awaken to those feelings, we realize there are people who have similar issues or experiences that we've gone through. And then I'm always curious about the concept about being lonely, and being alone. And I think being lonely we can be and being alone, we can have a lot of people around us but don't feel that connection. Don't feel that sense of camaraderie that takes place in many regards. And one of the other flip side of that coin for the soul is aloneness is at one knit. So we're being at one with ourselves, you know, being comfortable with ourselves being like you're saying earlier, we're growing to understand who we are, who we really are. So it feels in the spaces, you know, with is at one name. And, and so it's just another way of thinking about it. Right? I like that. I'm

Ellen Elizabeth:

going to write that in my journal after this.

Dr. Judith Holder:

Yes, yes. And one of the things you said to with meditation, so that centering and being at one with yourself, it requires you to go to yoga meditation to be at that one Ness with oneself. And that helps us to grow and to expand in ways. That is very delightful. Right. Great. Anything else you want to end with? Before we move towards our closing?

Ellen Elizabeth:

I think we've touched on all of this has been great. I'm still kind of digesting everything. I just talking to you. I always learn stuff, too. So

Dr. Judith Holder:

yes, it's been delightful to have you on Elizabeth, because you were willing to share who what has happened in your life, in this real life adventure segment, to help other people to say, You know what, we can have the best of backgrounds, but it doesn't mean we don't have some stumbling blocks that show up in our worlds that we have to contend with and deal with. And I think that's really real for many people. So I think our seekers and listeners are really happy to hear your story and understand that they're not alone, and some of the struggles that they're going through. But they can move to that point of one net, you know, and having a greater sense of commodity through their understanding and advancing of their selves. As they're walking. They're their life path and their sole life path as well. So thank you very much for joining me in this segment. And to our seekers, I want to share a little bit about yourself in terms of where they can reach you if they wanted to reach you reach out to you.

Ellen Elizabeth:

Of course, yeah. So I can be found on my website, which is www dot it's Ellen elizabeth.com. You can go on there and find all my resources all about me all the other podcasts and places I've been. And I also have a book coming out called split ends. So if you're interested in reading that it's a memoir, and you can go on my website to learn more. And I'm also on Instagram and Facebook at its Ellen Elizabeth. Right. When is your book coming out? A book comes out May 23 of this year, so I'm gonna

Dr. Judith Holder:

eat it. You are. So thank you again for joining us. Thank you so much for listening in. And bye for now.