Episode 22

Soul and Self-Mastery: Starting a Series on Habits of Soul Entrapments (Barriers) | EP 022

Dr. Judith talks about self-mastery from a soul perspective and the importance of managing negative thoughts, feelings, reactions, behaviors, and deeds. She gives the seeker some of her ideas to move toward greater mastery. These consist of improving your observation abilities, keeping focused on one's Higher Power, seeing life experiences as opportunities, learning self-discipline, and listening in silence to hear your soul promptings. As we master ourselves, we have greater abilities to master expected and unexpected situations that come our way. She is beginning a series on soul entrapments, "barriers" that can slow down or hinder soul progress on the road to having greater fulfillment, happiness, and joy in living.

About the Host:

Dr. Judith Holder’s passion is empowering people to be their best selves! Dr. Holder is the founder and executive director of Unique Pathways™ (www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com). She is a leadership coach-psychologist, facilitator, consultant, and author.

Our paths are filled with many adventures in which Judith believes can be seen as growth opportunities, even during challenging times. She likes to think about, discover, and discuss personal and professional life’s circumstances as you journey through life, through the lens of Christian values, Buddhist precepts, Ascended Master teachings and Esoteric Principles to gain greater clarity and mastery in daily living. 

Dr. Holder is the author of Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam – Essential Insights for Growth and Self-Mastery, and an e-book, Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth

On a personal note, Dr. Holder sees herself as a perpetual student/seeker learning from her everyday adventures, which she considers as a part her ongoing growth and evolution of her SOUL. The fun part is we are all walking similar journeys together!

Judith enjoys spending time with family, vacationing at beaches and mountains sides, reading, walking, partaking in mindfulness practices, and is a certified yoga instructor.

 

Dr. Holder’s books on Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam and Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth can be found at -

https://www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com/services/spiritual-inquisitiveness/

 

Mastering Life’s Adventures “How to” Downloadable Courses at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab “Offerings”

  • Course 1: Mastering Life’s Adventures mini-course
  • Course 2: Opening Up to Your Divinity mini-course

 

Learn more about “Mental Fitness for Busy People”, at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab, “Offerings”

 

You can also check out Dr. Holder’s at

LinkedIn page: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judith-c-holder-phd-ms-pcc-bcc-a1a4a57/

Executive and Leadership Coaching website: www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com

Speaking Engagements (for Women New to Leading): www.drjudithholder.com

 

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Transcript
Dr. Judith Holder:

Welcome to Mastering life's adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about, and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I am Dr. Judith holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life's adventures. All comparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know. And to who you really are mastering mice adventures begins now.

Dr. Judith Holder:

Hi, I'm back, I want to do a series. And that series is focused around how do we gain greater self mastery and the things that we do, and the thoughts we think and the feelings that we have. And then the behaviors or deeds that we implement or move forward with. And if we have greater self mastery, well, that then allow us to have greater sense of fulfillment, and a greater sense of happiness and inner peace, and a greater sense of helping and serving of other individuals, because spirits more solid and who we are, and what we're about. So I've been thinking about that. And that's why I want to do this series. But first in terms of future series of looking at some of the things that get in our way from being happy, content, joyful in our interactions. And part of that is our own mastery of our own reactions, thoughts and feelings and actions. And if we're able to look at key aspects of what gets us off that beam, that balance beam with ourselves, what types of experiences and emotions, which I like to focus on, from a more psycho spiritual perspective of what may get in our way, and maybe talk about a couple of anecdotes, one or two things that one can do to help get back on that beam. And that beam, like a balance beam, a beam of light, or as another way of thinking of it. It's like that balance beam balancing and walking in life and feeling like you've you've got your footing in moving forward. But you may be thinking what is self mastery and self mastery is you look it up on the internet, it really focused around self control. These are some of the words will come up pop up on the internet when you type in self mastery. And it can be willpower, which I talked about before which I think willpower has to be undergirded WITH GOD Power, purposefulness, single mindedness, you'll find statements around commitment to in order for for SafeNet Self Mastery to take place in order for self mastery to come into being dedication. And dedication, I think is similar to being discipline, and in thought burden D. And also you can think of it as a targeted focus on what you have control over. And taking that those things you have control over and you practice. It's like playing the piano. You practice until you get better and better and better at it. And that's I think, what life is about I think, you know, we're living here on planet Earth, because we're learning to make wise choices and to allow us to be a better person, every finds our soul that allows us to be that better person. And so I'm thinking about South mastery, more from our spiritual growth dimension, not just from the human perspective of playing the piano, for example, as I mentioned earlier, but it's more of what does it mean to have greater self mastery and how does it help my soul? Because it certainly does help your soul. The more that you have that harmony and control and awareness of how you're handling situations in your life, and you're feeling positive and engaged in those situations, and not fearful or fretful or angst, you know from it. These are things that get us off our beam of walking life and enjoying life. So from a soul growth dimension I think of it as incorporating both the human aspect of the things that we need to do to gain that South match in terms of skills or enhancing certain qualities. But it's also an awareness that we are trying to enhance what our soul needs are, what our soul is looking to have a greater mastery around. And like to talk about that, from the perspective of four or five concepts, or thoughts to kind of keep mulling around for yourself, as it relates to soul self mastery at a soul level. And what the soul wants us to be able to do is observe ourselves, observe what we're doing, how we're doing our emotional reactions, what's coming up, that's creating negativity in our world, what's coming out that is positive and feel supportive, and allows us to feel comforted that which is really qualities of what the soul is interested in, as well. And so observation so that we're looking for things that we can tweak and making little improvements in, in our communications, or in our conversations with a loved one, or how we're dealing with a particular situation at work. The what do we notice how we're handling those situations are, are they from a standpoint of an outside person looking at us and saying, Wow, that was well done, or the outside person, which may be God, for example, looking at as saying, I need to do a little bit better there need to do a little bit better there, you were to this or to that, this be back on the mark of that balance on how you want to communicate, and how you want to express your emotions. So that's one thing. The other thing I think, when I think about Seoul, South mastery is keeping your focus on knowing that you're walking that spiritual path, and knowing that there's something higher and greater than yourself. And that's what you're moving towards, is getting more in alignment with your I Am Presence with your God's source your Creator, with your Lord, you're trying to always be aware that, you know, by the grace of God, I am able to live, move and have my being. And if God is in my life, then I want to make sure that I'm glorifying Him, and my thoughts, in my words, in my deeds, and all things in all that I do. And we sometimes end up not honoring God, you know, we get angry, we get frustrated, we get annoyed, we find that people are pushing our buttons in some particular way. Or we're finding that we're being overly active about what's going on, we all do it. And we're all having to learn how to have greater mastery. So it helps to our soul to continue to grow. I think of life as opportunities that come into our world, to help us to give us kind of an awareness of where we at with this mastery of ourselves and our reactions and our thoughts and our feelings, by these experiences that come into our world, from family members and interactions with colleagues at work and interaction with socially in our social network of individuals, that we're learning to understand that that particular situation or circumstance, is trying to help us to be aware where we are on the spectrum of things and gaining greater self mastery. And again, is over our thoughts over our feelings, over our reactions over our behaviors. How are we doing on the spectrum of things? You know, sometimes it's good to think about it from a great what what I gave myself a grade in that particular situation in which, you know, my boss came to me really angry and annoyed about something, and I kind of reacted to back at the person and, and it lingered with me. And you may say, Well, I'll give myself a b minus where I could have done better. I didn't do terribly bad, but I could have definitely done better in how I handled the situation. So the more that we look at the experiences coming into our world, is soul growth opportunities have mastery over our thoughts and feelings and reactions, the more that it has purpose. And so they see life on more purposefully, and how we want to show up to be more intentional about how we interact with people and the situations that we find ourselves in.

Dr. Judith Holder:

But it does require another phase of this soul South mastery in order for the soul to have greater self mastery by we also need to have discipline and it's one of the constructive qualities I talk about in my book. I'm mastering life's event. Here's another beam, that there are constructed qualities that help to fuel the soul to help to uplift the soul that helps to feed the soul. And one of them is discipline of ourselves, that we discipline our impulses, that just because we feel something doesn't mean we have to act upon it. What we're learning more of is how to be able to navigate in a different way, that we're not navigating by our ego or by our impulses. But we're navigating more intentionally. And we're asking our own inner self, the wisdom aspect of who we are our inner intuition, if you want to call it our soul, or Lord, you know, you're asking, So what do I need to do here? How do I need to respond here. And your inner self may automatically say, say nothing, do nothing was this not the right time to have that conversation? Have the conversation tomorrow, make sure you have the conversation. Now, when the person is living more settled, less angry, or annoyed or frustrated, because the person is not going to hear anything you have to say, our inner self will guide us the more we have that attunement and connection. And that's where I circle back around to another episode I talked about is still being still. And that still time gives you the space to be able to have a greater wisdom about how you need to particularly interact, or a handle a situation. And then the other quality about self mastery, but just talk about observation and the importance of observing yourself. And then keeping focused on your Higher Self, your highest acts best your highest aspirations of who you are your god qualities, and your God source, the Lord, Your Creator, your I Am Presence, then we talked about the looking for each situation that comes into your life as opportunities to help the let you know where you are in your soul growth. And if you're overreacting, or you becoming bitter or hurtful and spiteful or mean spirited or angry, or yelling, or, you know, that is not the path of the soul, that is the path of the ego. And you're moving and trying to keep your focus around. Okay, what do I need to do in this situation? How do I use this situation that's in front of me as an opportunity to grow and to maintain my harmony and peace. The more that we're able to maintain our harmony and peace, the more that our soul can be able to speak to us. Because if you're really not harmonious, and it's kind of like being in a storm, and things are rocking, and it's rocking the boat back and forth, and you're have turbulence that's going on, you know, from that storm, you're so focused on the storm, that you don't have any quality of peace, to be able to hear your inner self. And we do, even if it's taken a few minutes out of that storm and just saying, Okay, I'm going to pray. And I'm going to ask for higher guidance about what I need to do here. And I'm going to be in this new grace, to hear to know that the call compels the answer. And that if I am quiet enough, and consistent in my conversations with my higher self, my Creator, the more that God starts to respond and speak back to me. And gives me those promptings and those intuitive awarenesses that what I need to do in a particular situation that has come our way as opportunities of growth and learning. And usually those opportunities that come our way from growth and learning usually have some themes through them. And so we want to start being observant going back to that being observant of what's the theme here. And sometimes it's good to keep a journal and start writing down the particular swing experiences that you're having. And being able to see how they may all line up in a particular way that allows you to be able to now handle that theme, as opposed to a buckshot approach kind of hear all these different buckshots you know, and trying to manage them. It's like, No, you know, what is the configuration that is formed in that buckshots that has gone out, so to speak. So then we also talked about discipline, and disciplining our impulses, because we sometimes feel is that, well, it's kinda it's just the way I felt and that's why I did it. But a person who's walking a spiritual path knows that our feelings have to have a measure of truth. To plan that, just because we feel a picture of away, again does not mean we need to express that particular thought, or that particular negativity, or that particular criticism, or anything that is not in alignment with what God would say in the situation. It says, like Francis of Assissi, really asking for your thoughts to be the right thoughts, and that your feelings to be the right feelings, and that in the service of others, you're trying to be your best self. So then the final thing that I want to talk about in this kind of focus, I'm going to be doing on self mastery. And so you know, I should call it soul self mastery. And that is a quality of composure. And composure means is that we will always have experiences that come up in our world, that's going to be a surprise, is going to be honest spected. And we really haven't mediate reaction to something that was unexpected to us. And sometimes things that are are expected to us that we expect that to happen, we have an immediate reaction to. And what we have to know is that when you're walking a spiritual path, you're trying to help maintain a point of composure, you understand that you have this strong reaction, you don't have to allow it to continue, you try to make a course correction or pivot in a different way. But sometimes it does, we call you to pause, breathe, and to ask your inner self, what needs to be done here. And as a person is speaking to you or as the event is taking place around you, you're still a keenly attuned to your inner nature, pausing, breathing, and while you're breathing, nice, long, deep breaths, what needs to be done here, because you're moving yourself to wanting to wait and see and see how the higher guide you, your soul, your higher self, guide you. And that allows us now to move towards greater mastery of ourselves. Because we're now listening to our inner self for guidance, we're seeing the situations that are occurring to us externally. But we're not being moved by those external events, at least we're trying to be moved less and less and less with those events, that makes us emotionally aroused. That makes us feel or we allow ourselves to feel bitter, anger, sad, anxious, some of these deconstructive qualities, these qualities that hinder the souls progress and growth. This series that I'm going to be doing, I haven't quite labeled it yet, but it would probably be around the qualities of habits of soul entrapment, something about habits, that it's important for everyone to know about. But they entrap the soul in some way. And they it's like putting a straitjacket on your soul. And there's certain types of emotional states that do that. And also thinking about it from the standpoint of what would be an antidote to it, would it be one or two antidotes that could be tried, and could be experimented on at your leisure. And that could be of help to you with that, and it's not focused, you know, sometimes people do need therapy, you know, to help them deal with certain type of habits that are they're engaged in, I think therapy is a good space to be able to get some support and help around. But what I'm talking about is more of observations and being able to experiment around certain types of emotional states that are in getting in the way of soul progress and growth. So it's not kind of a therapy thing. It's more of a day to day, living in life more fully, and more abundantly. And how can we be able to do that from a soul self mastery level? And the final thing I would like to say is, we are all trying to do our best. And there's not going to be 24/7 that we're going to get everything right. We've all been raised in families that have particular culture, nationalities, ethnicities,

Dr. Judith Holder:

you know, that we've been born into that we have been conditioned to see things in certain ways and do things in certain ways. And when you're walking a spiritual path, you have to be aware of the fact of does that still work for me, regardless of culture, or family or ethnicity? Does that work? For me, as I'm trying to evolve and grow, and have a greater attunement to my soul. And you may say, hmm, I never thought about that. And the best place to begin is now to think about it, start to observe yourself, as I mentioned before, and begin to see all the opportunities coming into your world as opportunities to come living a more fulfilling life and figuring out what those things like get you off that beam that balance me, and what types of thinking feeling acting being will get you back on the beam into a more joyful, fulfilling and happy life each and every day. So that's what I'm going to be mapped out for the next long period of time is talking about these particular habits of soul entrapment? Please come join me, you're gonna be curious about some of the things I may bring up for you to consider and think about. Bye for now.